Ewww

If I ever put Helmi in anything even remotely close to this, you have every right to back hand me.

Dress To Impress?!

I feel like ranting today, so instead of bothering my friends and family in the middle of their work day, I'll take it out on this defenseless blog. Considering the fact that...well the FACT that how you look "matters" in society, I am faced with a few roadblocks to finding love again. I see myself as being decent looking, not extremely good looking, but not what I would define as ugly. I like to say, and actually believe, I am not extremely pretty, but I am very sexy. And that's how I feel inside. So there's my palette...and then I am working with my style. This has been where the comments have flooded in my entire life. I remember Jr. High, when one of my favorite outfits was my camo fitted tee, electric blue wide legged pants, and Vans. This made me feel happy. Problem is, even though I got plenty of dates, there were complaints from the opposite sex. My step brother, who was 2 years older and cooler by default, said to me, "My friends said you would be a lot hotter if you just dressed normal." Awesome- just the vote of confidence an awkward teenager needs. Then in college, I found myself conforming...I straightened my natural curls, joined the masses of bleach blonde hell, and wore "normal" slut...I mean girl clothes. And guess what? It sucked! **I did end up falling in love during this time, and what is interesting about that is that there was no appearance to "get past". This guy got to know me and we had a great relationship that later ended for different reasons. The only thing he ever mentioned was that he wished I would wear jeans more instead of dresses. You can never please them all.** So when I finally smartened up, got into my art program, and started to dress as me again...guess what? More peanut gallery. I had a guy I really liked who would always comment on my outfits. Like my bright teal taffeta wedding heels w/ my white tiger bedazzled baseball shirt. He said I looked like I was wearing "costumes". True, some of my wardrobe does have a theatrical flair, but who was this dude to say so? (and why couldn't he see we were meant to be together? Ha.) And then once I was unhappily married, my husband NEVER like anything I wore. And he was not afraid to say so- over and over. Still I pressed on, because choosing clothing that I liked made ME happy. And that's all that matters right?
Oh...no? You mean, I might have to tone it down to find someone who loves me? This is debatable. Even though I find that I get more smiles and hellos on the street when I'm dressed more mainstream, it also points to a sad fact. That most men out there are playing it safe. And that is not what this girl is looking for. So I will wait it out for a man who will proudly have me on his arm, whether I'm wearing my Mr.T necklace, lime green flower headband, or red pleather pants. That last one was just a joke...

First Instinct, Second Hand

This year has brought a lot of awakenings to the surface for me. I got out of a terribly unhappy relationship. I picked up and moved on and the most amazing thing happened. I started to remember what makes me happy. I started to get to know me again. I am waking up from a fog and rediscovering the people, places and things that make my heart content. Getting to the fashion portion of this was tough. I looked around at my clothes scattered on the floor and realized that I had "settled". Much like everything else in my life for the past four years, my wardrobe had become complacent. And anyone who knows me, knows that complacent is not my style!
So I decided to get back to my instincts! I have always been a thrift store blood hound. I can find an entire year's wardrobe in one day of Goodwill hopping. So, it's time to get back to my primal nature. Who can tell me that I should be a slave to fashion? No one! I once told a friend that the worst thing you can lose is your self esteem. It's time to get that back. And the only way to do so, is to be "you" as much as possible.
The end of 2009 marks the beginnging of getting back in touch with myself, and making myself happy again. That means reconnecting with people I love, making art, and expressing myself with my own unique flair.
For the next year 2010-2011, I will wear only what I find at thrift stores. I will cut and sew and patch and paint and whatever else it takes to achieve the looks I want, without the mainstream hassle. I'm getting primal, and that might just include peeing outside (again).

Fashion Statement

It's on a t-shirt, so I feel the right to plug it on here. And as for this actually happening...well why not?

Personal Shopper

These pictures are tiny I know...I apologize! Anyway, one of my favorite ways to mix up my clothing is to create some of it myself. I love making t-shirts. It's kind of a form of therapy for me, and what better way to get your feelings out than to "wear them on your sleeve"? Most people know I have no problem expressing my opinion. Sometimes it's how I'm feeling about a situation, and other times I just pick a fun word or picture. However, I try to stay away from message tees that were made by anyone else. I think the only one I can remember buying commercially was "Strangers have the best candy" and I mean, who could resist that one? But the rest of those generic thoughts can stay off of my body, because they are not my thoughts. I picked a ball cap (note: NOT A TRUCKER HAT!!!!) because I thought it would be cute to sport one on casual errands. Maybe it's just another way for me to get on my soapbox,  but I think putting your own messages on your clothing is a fun, theraputic way to express yourself. Try thinking of things that make you laugh, or digital images that send you to a happy place. But please, if you "heart blah blah blah" or think "such and such people suck", keep it to yourself.

Vintage Vixen

I compare vintage to vegan. I wish I could go all the way vintage. It would be so good for my pocket book, while forcing me to be more creative with my look. But buying those brand new clothes with the tags, knowing no one else has worn them is like biting into a juicy steak. Still, I have definitely put in my time in countless thrift stores. I can remember when I was ecstatic to fill up a garbage bag and pay $50 for my "back to school clothes" in jr. high. Some of those tendencies are still with me. I can still linger in a Goodwill far longer than any of my friends want to. To me, it's like a treasure hunt and nothing should be left undiscovered. Needless to say, when I found a huge thrift store near my work, I made time to go by and scour the place. I found some great jewelry there, and of course- cheap! The gold and cobalt blue necklace would go great with a sundress, while the colorful beads are best with a tank and jeans. I love the gold hinge with the button detail for going out. The blue pearl clasp bracelet is the perfect accent for a chocolate brown jacket this fall. I will always shop at thrift stores...it's something I love, but like I said earlier...I will always have a taste for red meat too. 

Date Night

I bought a "date night" dress. Since I am newly divorced I think I have forgotten what real dates are like and am basing my outfit choices on crap like the Bachelor. Since I ordered this red tiered tube dress online I had no idea how teeny tiny it was. In fact, I think my first reaction was, "Is that a dress???" So I tried it on and it wasn't as skanky as I had envisioned. In fact, I convinced myself that I had balls to wear this dress. That in this dress I was making a statement. I was saying, "World of dating I am taking you on!" The rhinestones are for the pure and simple fact that I enjoy being a girl and I am not ashamed to admit it. I like to go out and dress like a movie star. I named my child a strange name, I have done my share of unexplainable things that people gossip about! In some obscure countries I may already be a star. But let's just hope the morning after I wear this little scrap of material I don't end up being found in a dumpster because that is the wrong movie.